Sleep deprived and caffeinated
I finished drafting the Problem Solver guide! I researched, wrote, designed the illustrations and put together every aspect of the book. It was a long, labour intensive process. It represents all the skills and perseverance I have, which is terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.
Although I have a clear vision for the work that has enabled me to get to this point, I find myself second guessing whether this first instalment is good enough. Everything I’ve ever created I’ve found faults, or felt I could have done better. However rather than let those familiar thoughts steer my direction, I’ve gotten feedback from people I respect.
Good news: they love it! So I tread onwards. Making changes my inner critic demands with a slither of confidence that at some point when I need to stop to release it into the world it has a chance of being welcomed by those I’m seeking to serve. The caveat is the people that have given feedback so far have been people that I have some kind of relationship. The real test is getting the work into the hands of strangers. If they love it, then I can continue with gusto.
Print on demand fail
I’m self-publishing the Essential Skills Series books so that I can get Edaith off the ground with work that I can iterate and best understand cause and effect. I’m not completely averse to publishers and may partner in future. But for now, by producing the books independently and simultaneously figuring ways to effectively engage people with an eagerness to upskill I can better respond to their needs.
I’m at the last leg of finalising the layout and copy editing and should have the first batch of books to sell by November. In the meantime, I thought I’d print some print on demand copies to take to events, give to people to review and take to markets to get into people’s hands and see their reactions. Unfortunately, it’s not worked out.
As the size of book that I want is not offered by print on demand service at a price that makes any sense, I spent a few days creating the print documents needed in a standard size that they offer. I was feeling optimistic and thought that if the printing this way was good, I could start selling the Problem Solver books before my bulk shipment arrives.
It turns out I can’t get the quality I need. I want the Edaith publications to be beautiful objects to see and to hold. They need to be durable and a pleasure to use over and over as reference guides. Print on demand doesn’t have the papers, custom features or quality assurance I need to achieve these things. So, I need to be patient and do work that will support the arrival of the books in a couple months with the conventional printer.
Being the non-travelling parent
Over the last few months my husband has been travelling a lot for work so there’s been much solo parenting going on. I hate complaining about the endurance this requires as it was my choice to have children. I mention it as a reminder to myself that the unseen, unpaid labour involved in being an engaged, supportive parent is significant, important and contributes to society when we take the long view.
I’m on a dual mission. No matter what’s happening, every day of the week I find time to work on Edaith. That means waking before everyone and working in the evening once the housework is done and everyone is in bed or watching TV. Some mornings I wake to do work but instead need to stay in bed with my arm stretched into the cot to comfort my youngest (so he sleeps longer). We can afford some days of daycare coupled with my parents helping, so although there’s frustration, all is not lost if the early start fails. Every day I stop work at 2:45pm to collect my primary school aged child and do the other two pick-ups. Then it’s cooking, tending to toddler, housework... finally at about 8pm I can start work again. On weekends work is confined to pre-7am and post-7pm.
I know my thinking might look that of a workaholic. But committing no matter what is what it takes to do things well. It’s difficult with or without children. There’s no easy way. No quick fix. The days are long. But I get the privilege of doing self-determined work that might lead to positive impact. Or at a minimum, no regrets.
I am likely to fail. But what if I make it work! The possibilities... I can’t help but try.
Tina
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